It’s hard to admit mistakes — to ourselves and especially to others. How many hours of our lives do we spend with that familiar knot in our stomach, trying to summon the courage to tell someone something that will hurt or anger them?
Social Creatures
Satya, the yoga of honesty, is a tender topic, which cuts to the very core of our existence as social creatures. This yogic principle invites us to refrain from all acts of deception and dishonesty. Ultimately, in order to do this, we must own our decisions by taking responsibility for all of our actions and the possible impact they have on those around us.
Owning our Actions
The second level of satya, after being very real and honest with ourselves, is to become aware of exactly what we are saying to everyone we speak to, which is a pretty all-consuming yoga practice!
A good starting point for the yoga of truth is to ask yourself: what is the intention behind my words? Or, why am I saying this?
You might be surprised to find that behind the rational thought process, there are very strong emotional reasons for saying something. So much of our speech is often tangled in feelings of blame, anger, shame, judgement or fear. This yoga practice is about cultivating an awareness of the emotional states that influence our speech and then making a conscious choice.
Emotional Motivations
Is is really honest to speak out of anger or fear? Yoga holds in the highest esteem the virtue of compassionate communication and forgiveness: only from this place can we release our minds from self-imposed suffering and the masks that we wear which hide our true nature.
For many years I was caught in a cycle of fear and anger. I feared exposing my writing to the world and potential negative feedback. I continually dreamed of being a writer but, out of fear, I would belittle my talents in conversation while speaking with strong angry undertones to those who were living my dream.
Letting go of my fear surrounding the challenges of being a writer has allowed me to speak about my dreams — to speak not only clearly but also lovingly with the successful professional writers I meet. This release feels fantastic for everyone.
The Three Gatekeepers
When you decide to commit to the yoga of truth, an invaluable tool to use is the “The Three Gatekeepers of Speech.” Take a few seconds to run through these three questions when you are having a discussion. Go through them in this order, and notice what happens.
1. Is what I am going to say true?
If so, you pass this gatekeeper and go to the next question:
2. Is what I am going to say kind?
If so, you pass this gatekeeper and go to the next question:
3. Is what I am going to say actually necessary?
When I do this yoga practice, I often don’t get through all three. That’s good, because it forces me to reformulate my ideas. This helps me pay attention to that fact that a lot of what we say is at best fluff and, at worst, unkind or untruthful. These three gatekeepers can help all of us shift our speech towards honest and compassionate dialogue.