If we stop and reflect on our thoughts, we might realize that most of our lives are spent in a state of grasping. We reach forward for things we want: new shoes, a new job, a partner or maybe to lose weight. And we also reach backwards, with regret and remorse for what we did not get and for what we have lost.
Perpetual Dissatisfaction
This perpetual state of dissatisfaction was recognized by the ancient yogis in India over 2,000 years ago as a powerfully damaging aspect of the human condition, which, with great difficulty, and practice, can be overcome and controlled.
Santosha is the yoga of contentment — the first yogic practice of the second limb of yoga known as the niyamas, or external disciplines. Santosha is an invitation to practice contentment with yourself, and your life as it is.
This, of course, is a seemingly impossible yoga practice. In terms of level of difficulty, Santosha is harder than attempting a blindfolded handstand on a bed of nails while doing skull-polishing breath! That’s because life is never free of disappointment, of trauma, of pain and suffering, whether at the most mild or extreme ends of the spectrum.
My personal struggle with the yoga of contentment revolves around the sudden loss of my mother to cancer four years ago. How can I be joyful and grateful when I have been dealt such a harsh hand? I know that each one of you reading this, and everyone in the world, has their own unique story of pain and suffering.
Equanimity
As yoga students, studying the intricate details of what it means to be in this particular body in this particular life cycle, we have committed to exploring new ways of living. The yoga of contentment is another opportunity to embrace the sometimes counter-intuitive guidance of yoga, and notice how it can change our lives for the better.
The core of Santosha is the idea of equanimity: to be evenhanded in our victories and our losses. When we win the basketball game, when we lose a lover, to never ascend too high in pride, or to descend too low in dissatisfaction. In this way, the yoga of contentment constantly keeps us emotionally and mentally level, or balanced.
A Practice for Life
This yoga practice also reminds us of the very loose grip we actually have on life and its outcomes. It reminds us that we may be able to steer the car, but the road of life leads us through unmapped territory. If we can be content with the good and the bad, we can embrace the yogic principle of transience. This means embracing the present moment with an intensely satisfying sense of gratitude.
I learned from my mother’s passing and from my yoga practice to embrace life the way it is. In doing so, I felt the quality of my life increase exponentially. I loved more fully, laughed and spoke with honesty, appreciated each person and experience in my life with acute exuberance.
The yoga of contentment helped me learn how to have a deeper appreciation for life, how to remain calm in good and hard times. This is a difficult yoga practice that we must keep working hard at, continually, for the rest of our lives.